December 16th, 2017

Stewart Not Your Monkey

My Username

The December Meme Master Post can be found here. Please feel free to leave a question or topic!


[personal profile] zhelana wants to know the story behind my username.

When I first started my livejournal blog, I called it “This Path”, as I was just another traveller sharing their journey. My spiritual journey was very important to me at that point. My username at the time was Ahavah_Ehyeh, because Ahavah was taken. I found both in a book about the names of God. Ahavah means “love” and Ehyeh means “I Am”. I was trying to remind myself to strive to be godly and personify love.

Ahavah later became my username over most of the internet. My ability to personify love has ebbed and flowed over the years. I've fallen off the spiritual wagon these last few years, but I'm trying to get back on track. I'm maybe a bit more cynical and a bit less light-being than I was at the time, but a lot of that has to do with how I was treated by my last church. Now I just observe my own spirituality, with a heavy emphasis on Medicine Reiki and shamanism more than church. I'm still trying to be my best me.
Stewart Not Your Monkey

Weight Goals

I weighed myself at the gym this week and found out that I have gained ten more pounds. This is horrible. I'm inching closer and closer to 200, and this is a thing which cannot be. I'm only 5'3, so someone my height is supposed to be around 125. My ideal goal weight would be 135, because after kids, I just don't think I can get any lower than that. My I-would-be-happy-with-seeing-again goal weight is 155. That's about what I got down to when Josh and I got married, and I felt pretty good about myself even if I was overweight.

I have GOT to do something, because it just keeps creeping up. I know a big part of that is my pepsi and little debbie/cream horn addictions. I've got to rein that shit in.

I really need help sticking with Whole30 this time around. It will help me break my pepsi addiction, and I need to make sue I keep it that way this time. I actually eat tons more when I'm on Whole30, but it's all healthy, whole foods. You have a palm-sized(ish) portion of protein, fill your plate with veggies, and then have a serving of healthy fats like nuts, olives, avocado, or coconut (which I won't eat).

You eliminate entirely:

  • Sugar and artificial sweeteners
  • Alcohol
  • Dairy
  • Grains
  • Legumes

I am so much healthier when I do Whole30. As long as I can avoid getting sick this time, I hope that I can complete the full 30 days and do a proper reintroduction phase, so that I can figure out how different foods affect me.

I'm going to need some serious cheerleading and ass-riding to not fail this time, so please help? Bonus if anyone wants to buddy up and do it with me. You actually eat loads of delicious, healthy foods! And the whole program is offered for free online, so you don't have to buy their stuff to get started. You might have to invest in healthier cooking options like coconut or avocado oil, ghee, compliant mayo (if you don't want to make your own), etc.

You also get pre- and post-workout mini-meals, and I'm going to try to have a better exercise schedule this time around. I volunteer at a gym twice a month and get a free membership out of it, but the gym is an hour away so I usually only go twice a month. I really need to try to make it out there more often, and if I can't, I need to be doing more exercise here at home. I think I'm going to start back up with the youtube videos of 30 Days of Yoga with Adrienne. I started that once and never finished it. I also need to just start including daily basics like sit ups, push ups (if my elbow can handle it these days), squats, etc.

I'm determined to make a change in 2018. me remember and stick with it, okay? Because my health and body is deteriorating, and I don't like that.