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x-posted from _haiku_

I know why I'm mad.
It's the last I'll have of her;
don't want to let go.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 1st, 2009 04:36 am (UTC)
All I can say, and this comes from my heart, is that Haiku belongs to you. Just because your mom was the subject doesn't mean it's the last you'll have of her.

You have her ability to channel (even if it manifests in different ways). She gave you life and you honor her, regardless of whether it wins a contest. Normal people have difficulty in grief of others they turn from it, not understanding that they can learn from it.

Putting yourself out there each time on any idol com risks feelings but when the subject is so personal of course it hurts like a bitch.

But they can't take away the awesomeness that is you and that STILL IS your mom even though she's not here physically here anymore. She's still inspiring you and that's powerful.

Find another outlet to continue to express those feelings...just make sure that you let us know if it's a new com or journal so we can support you.

I haven't really said anything before, but each time you post about her I am deeply moved because I've never felt that strongly about anyone in my family. Your love for her and vice versa is special.

I guess what I'm saying is don't give up, AND that took alot of soul searching to figure out why it hurt so much. That's brave. But you've always been brave so I'm not surprised.

Jan. 1st, 2009 05:24 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. I do try to honor her, and I've been trying real hard to work through it.

This actually wasn't for any contest. It's just the regular haiku community. I was just so angry all day, and I couldn't figure out why, and then for the first time in many many months, I forgot and almost went to call her. Then I realized why I was in such a foul mood all day.

At any rate, thank you so much for your kind words. You got me in tears, but they're good tears.
Jan. 1st, 2009 04:56 am (UTC)
*big hugs*
Jan. 1st, 2009 05:24 am (UTC)
Thank you!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )