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You say it's your birthday

Ordinarily, today would be my birthday. Not today though, not really. I renounced it.

It's unconventional, I know. I've gotten several wonderful birthday wishes, and I'm very grateful and surprised to be remembered.

Why would someone renounce their birthday? It started as a joke, really. When Josh and I were picking wedding dates, we were waffling between April and May. Now, my mom's birthday was always right before Christmas, and quite frankly she always got gypped on presents. I joked that with our anniversary, Mother's Day, and my birthday all within a couple weeks of each other, maybe I'd just change my birthday.

Then everything with mom happened. Happy, overly-celebratory May kind of soured. Now our anniversary and Mother's Day will always be tied with her death. There's no way out of that. I think I actually forgot my birthday last year until Josh wished it to me. It sucked. People called for well-wishes, but everyone was still crying. It was just another anti-climactic day. Mom had always said birthdays didn't really matter once you got older. They're all just the same.

So, something about that little joke stayed with me and I decided it was a damned good idea. Josh and I actually argued for several months about this. He says it's a bit idiotic and you can't just up and change your birthday. Legally, I suppose he's right. I look at it like changing my name when I got married, though. Everything did change, and I'm a new Amanda. May is so overwhelmingly sad. Our anniversary, and Mother's Day (which she actually died on) will never ever again be as happy as they should be. I renounced the whole damned month, really. If there's supposed to be one day that's supposed to be about celebrating and happiness and partying - for me - then I should get to pick a day that can be that.

It's liberating, really. Since I renounced it last year, I dedicated 2009 to The Year of the Birthday. I have to test-run these things to make sure I'm making an informed decision. Here's my criteria:

1. Not May

2. Nice weather, preferably grill weather (I got spoiled on Memorial Day weekend, what can I say? Of course, it's pouring today, so there you go.)

3. Can't use anyone living's birthday, unless they offer it

4. It has to gel astrologically – either with what I currently am, or with what I'd like to manifest into my life. For birth chart purposes, I'll still stick with having been born in Davenport at 4:20 pm.

So far I've had one test-birthday. I celebrated on April 27, which is a month early and was actually my due date. We had an absolute gorgeous day, and we went up to my sacred spot. I've considered myself twenty-eight since that first birthday this year.

I'm considering trying out June 3. It's just a week later, so still in the ballpark. Since I'm definitely very Gemini, I would just be switching months. I may try June 10, too, just to have another celebration. I was originally born on a Wednesday, which lines up this year, so I should try out the Wednesdays in my area. Lyz suggested I use Papa's birthday since he's not using his anymore. That was mom's dad, and his birthday was June 25 – right in between Lyz's and Josh's. I'm not sure if Josh wants me encroaching on his birthday, though.

My options are open. I'll be holding auditions through, I don't know, maybe October. I considered switching to my half-birthday, but it's too close to Thanksgiving and my ex-stepdad's birthday, so the Gemini-Sagittarius nemesis thing resonates for me. Better to stay clear of the holidays, although Halloween has always been my favorite, so I wouldn't mind snagging some of that.

So there you have it. And if I've inspired any of you to seek your own liberation, feel free to use May 27. It's open. There really is a benefit to having it both near Memorial Day weekend most of the time and at the end of the school year. It served me well for twenty-six years. I think I will do a little “thank you and goodbye” ceremony tonight, just to complete the circle. I'll let you know when we officially ring in the new one.

Comments

( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
dodging_fate
May. 27th, 2009 01:21 pm (UTC)
You could share my birthday of July 27th... Leos are awesome and you totally fit that personality, ha ha ha!

:D
ahavah
May. 27th, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC)
Would I? I don't know very many Leos, so I know little about them. I'll definitely look into that. Thanks so much! :D
dodging_fate
May. 27th, 2009 01:31 pm (UTC)
:D

We're moody, arrogant (at times) with a good dose, however, of insecurity... very creative, in tune with our spirituality and leaders with short tempers but big hearts.

:)

That's a leo in a nutshell!
ahavah
May. 27th, 2009 01:33 pm (UTC)
That does seem fitting. I'll give July 27 a try! Maybe 27 is the way to go.
dodging_fate
May. 27th, 2009 02:08 pm (UTC)
:D
lahermite
May. 27th, 2009 01:38 pm (UTC)
danny is a leo. think: leo is the lion.

happy old-birthday, darling. there's a slight chance we might stop by today. i have to go shopping, but i also have to be back reasonably early, so it all depends on how quickly i get shit done.

eden left me a message yesterday. was it for me or for jiana? sorry we haven't called back. been stressed and busy and crashing. all at once hahaha.

*kiss*
ahavah
May. 27th, 2009 01:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you, sweetness! It would be cool if you stopped by. Eden was wanting to talk with you. She has a question she'd like to ask you. I'll give you a heads up: it involves sleep-overs. :)

I heard about your stressful day. I would have gone to get Sadee back for you! I'm glad you were able to get her, though. I was worried about it.
kethlenda
May. 27th, 2009 05:21 pm (UTC)
Happy un-birthday, then, and good luck finding a good date. It makes perfect sense to me.
ahavah
May. 27th, 2009 05:30 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! I'm glad you think so. :)
sunlit_mists
May. 27th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
My dad's birthday was the 11th of June, and I am sure he would be happy for you to have it now that he is done with it!!

My husbands is the 10th, my sons the 5th, and my first lover was the 7th. - Gemini's rock!
ahavah
May. 27th, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I may give it a shot. Geminis do rock! I would kind of hate to part with it.

I've kind of been like that with pisces and cancers. I seem to have a lot of water people in my life.
brihanon
May. 27th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
I think this is a splendid idea. I might barrow it since my hubby hasn't remembered mine in 5 or 6 years.
ahavah
May. 27th, 2009 09:25 pm (UTC)
By all means! I'm glad other people understand and support the idea. Feel free to use mine. It's perfectly serviceable. :)
atemu_girl
May. 27th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
You can share my birthday, which is July 10, or July 4 even, which was my mum's birthday ^_^
ahavah
May. 27th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I've had a couple offers for on or around July 10. I'll have to give it a go. I appreciate you sharing! I'm not sure I'd want July 4. It's nice to get fireworks on your birthday, but there's a whole lot of other hoopla going on that day.
atemu_girl
May. 28th, 2009 10:55 am (UTC)
I don't mind sharing at all ^_^ That's what friends are for, right? ♥
ahavah
May. 28th, 2009 03:42 pm (UTC)
*hugs* You're wonderful. ♥
atemu_girl
May. 30th, 2009 03:48 am (UTC)
*blushes and hugs back* Thank you ♥
brightflashes
May. 27th, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC)
oh wow. THat sounds like such a fun and neat idea! I'd do the same thing except that I'm so totally my birthday it's not even funny.
ahavah
May. 27th, 2009 10:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm very much my birthday too, which is why I really want to find a compatible one. I'm having fun with it though. I highly recommend it. :)
badgerbear
May. 28th, 2009 03:15 am (UTC)
Happy Un-birthday! Maybe you could relocate your birthday to when you were concieved? That wouldn't be in the very warm weather, maybe, but not too bad. You can still grill in early autumn, right?
ahavah
May. 28th, 2009 03:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm not sure when I was conceived for sure. I'd have to figure it out. I think it would be August. Definitely grill-worthy. Ivy's bday is in August too. :)
butterfly_bbw
May. 29th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)
Late Happy un-birthday! I think the year of b-day test runs is a great idea. Hugs to you and the girls.
ahavah
May. 29th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! I'm having fun with it. Next birthday is next week!
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )

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