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And We Have a Midwife!

The meeting with the midwife went very well yesterday. She seems to be a really cool lady. The kids were super excited about her visit. Then we found out she does an annual Haunted House every year, and Eden had to bust out her haunted house blue prints and bond over it. It was so cute.

Our midwife (how awesome does that sound?) is very comfortable with homebirths and hospital births. She's a certified nurse midwife, so she's able to prescribe if necessary, do labs, have hospital privileges. We did find out that, to her knowledge, the nearest hospital to us is Salem, which is probably an hour or more away. We'll have to ask around and make sure there's not one closer, just in case transport would be necessary. Hopefully it wouldn't though, since that's a rather long way. I have a feeling I would be birthing too fast to make it anyway. Missouri hospitals, or at least the ones around here, are apparently strongly anti-waterbirth, and they don't even want to "allow" women to labor out of the beds. Say what? I'm definitely not interested in a hospital birth around here. That doesn't surprise me, really, but it is disappointing for future doulaing possibilities.

She's even comfortable doing homebirths with twins, which I had to make sure of since Josh's family has several sets of twins. She said there should be no issues as long as the first baby is head down. She always brings a labor assistant, and then I'll have Josh, and hopefully maybe a doula or two. I want the kids to be involved, but I also want Josh to not have to deal with them the whole time. We might have to find someone who could be in charge of childcare here at the house.

The cost, I feel, is very reasonable. She said including prenatal exams, any labs that we want done (although she doesn't push them or find them necessary), the actual birth, postpartum, and baby well-checks to 28 weeks are all included in the cost of $3600. Now, I don't know how much my (hospital) births in Asheville cost, since I was lucky enough to have medicaid then, but I can guarantee you that it was well over 5k, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was upwards of 10k. I'm really excited, because I expected it to be a lot more! Especially since she's over an hour away from us, and she'll do all the driving. This is so different from our previous experiences. All of my prenatals, everything, will be right here at my house! How awesome is that? The only thing we'd have to leave for is if for some reason we find an ultrasound necessary (which would be an additional cost, but she knows the guy who runs the clinic so it's like $35 or something). Since we never find out the sex of the baby beforehand, I have no plans to do a routine ultrasound this time around unless there IS some legitimate reason to check things out.

She also said that there's a discount if you pay by 36 weeks, and that she's all about payment plans and bartering! She was interested in reiki, which she'd never heard of (but saw in my email sig line), and she said that she wanted to do some research on it, but we could potentially do a trade there to knock off some of the price. Since I've been trying to get my butt in gear with restarting my reiki school, that's very encouraging! And Josh had even just found my reiki class worksheets while we were cleaning.

We also have a plan! Apparently she's waiting on a shipment of lab stuff, but as soon as she gets all her necessaries, she'll give me a call and we'll schedule a well-woman visit (here at my house!). I want to go ahead and do a pap and everything before we start trying, since I'm long overdue. So we'll do that, and then when my next period starts up after that, she'll come out (to my house!) and do the IUD removal. She said that will probably change my long, crazy cycles immediately, so yay for that! And it will also probably return my fertility immediately. She was like, "So make sure you're well and truly ready", and I said, "Well, we've been discussing it for months. We're well and truly ready, right baby?" More to assure myself that he's good to go quite so fast, and Josh just grinned and nodded. So sweet! I can't wait!

Someone suggested I read up on the "boy diet" to help increase my chances of conceiving a boy. I've been doing that, and I've already went and bought some potassium supplements to start taking. I'm going to start eating boy-friendly foods, so hopefully it'll all take effect by the time we get that IUD out. Gotta start eating breakfast cereal in the morning, probably with bananas. I'm so bad with eating breakfast (maybe why I have two girls? ha), so that will be a big challenge for me. I may invest in some of those ovulation predictor things to make sure we try right around ovulation. Since I've been tracking my cycles for years with MyMonthlyCycles.com, I checked the ovulation predictor for October. It'll probably depend on my next period and whether it's as late as this one was, but we're tentatively scheduling boy attempt #1 for the full new* moon next month. WOOT! Now that it's all coming together, it's coming together fast!

I'm so happy. I just hope it all works out.

*edited because I realized that website uses the opposite symbol from my calendar.



( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 2nd, 2010 01:23 pm (UTC)
no more margaritas no more margaritas no more margaritas

Sep. 2nd, 2010 06:46 pm (UTC)
I've got a month to indulge a bit and then wean. Ha! I'd already been weaning a bit, but now I'm indulging a bit more first. :P

Plus, higher calories are good for boys. I suspect that's where most of my calories come from. lol Actually, I'm going to try to cut back on the pepsis too, although apparently they actually suggest sodas & hi-sodium drinks for conception of boys. We'll see...
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 2nd, 2010 06:48 pm (UTC)
I thought it seemed like it was. I don't know of any birth centers around, but she said she knows a midwife in St. Louis who's trying to start one - but apparently keeps hitting road blocks. For shame! Birth choices should be a bit better in MO, in my opinion. At least having legal midwifery is a step in the right direction!
Sep. 2nd, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah, a friend of mine has hired a team of 3 midwives for her home birth here in Southern California. They're running something like $4800 or $5000, and she goes to them for checkups etc. They'll come to her for the birth, of course, but she has to do the legwork *and* they're more expensive than your lass. Best of luck!
Sep. 2nd, 2010 06:49 pm (UTC)
With homebirth being so much more inexpensive, you'd think more people would be accepting of it. I guess too many folks have been brainwashed by the medical association. I'm really surprised at how reasonable it is - plus I get an awesome deal with her coming to me & even wanting to barter. That's fantastic!
Sep. 2nd, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
Well, homebirth is less expensive for people without student health coverage or work coverage. My friend is currently working for a college, so she gets pretty good coverage through the state of CA--I'm pretty sure a hospital birth would be free for her after insurance. She and her husband just have the money for options and she's very opposed to the traditional "Western medical" approach to birth (and the more I read up on homebirthing versus hospital birthing, the more I agree!).

I think a large part of the anti-homebirth opinions are based in fear--not just fear that something could go wrong during delivery, or fear of pain, but fear of the unknown. In this day and age in the US, not many women are exposed to birth in their everyday lives unless they choose a birth-oriented profession or have a lifestyle that supports and encourages homebirth. Birth has become this process where the mother is a recipient of treatment as her body goes through this ordeal, and the byproduct of this treatment is a baby. Lamas, epidurals, etc. all seem designed to prepare the mother to receive treatment with as little fuss and difficulty as possible.

Homebirth seems to focus more on the mother as an active participant of the birthing process, because that's what birth is--a process. It's about her producing a baby in her own sweet time, not about the actions and behavior of her body being overcome by medicine to get the kid out as fast as possible. I really dig that philosophy.

My friend's asked me, another female friend, and my boyfriend to be with her and her husband during the birth as sort of a support team-slash-assistant squad. She's due near the end of November. I'm so excited and grateful to get to be there and experience her birth process.
Sep. 2nd, 2010 07:26 pm (UTC)
That's so awesome! I'm happy for you!

I just think, if it's cheaper and (imo) safer, there doesn't need to be this stigma. Women have been birthing at home since the beginning of time, and hospital births have only become "the norm" in the last 50 or 60 years - and not to good effect, if you ask me. Oh well. I don't actually have insurance, so that's another reason why I was glad to learn it was so inexpensive. Then again, I'm very birth oriented, so I don't see it as anything scary to begin with. :)
Sep. 2nd, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC)
Dude, I totally agree. I think the increase and promotion of birth in hospitals has sort of stigmatized or at least de-normalized birth to the point where the mainstream social opinion of it is that it's not safe to give birth anywhere BUT a hospital... whereas in reality, it's just as safe (and arguably safer!) to do it at home.
Sep. 2nd, 2010 07:21 pm (UTC)
I don't know how I've managed not to twig on to the fact you're pregnant - but please blame the giant rock I'm living under right now!

Big congratulations from me! I'm so happy your midwife looks to be working out and I hope you have a happy healthy pregnancy! Enjoy it :)

I'll keep my fingers crossed for a boy - I seem to be doing that for a few people at the moment, as they all have girsl and would like a boy - first one has just given birth and she did have a boy - so positive thought works i reckon!
Sep. 2nd, 2010 07:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Viki! I'm not actually pregnant yet though. We've been discussing it for quite some time, and now that we've (finally!) managed to locate a midwife near us, we're ready to start trying. It's actually quite exciting to be planning a baby! Both of my girls were surprises, so I'm really happy to have this opportunity and to be in a good place where we can make the decision. I'm just excited to finally, officially be "trying to conceive".
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:18 pm (UTC)
hee hee now I feel a bit stupid! but the sentiment is all still there!

I shall keep my eyes open for updates!
Sep. 3rd, 2010 06:08 pm (UTC)
Don't feel stupid! I really appreciate the sentiment. It's better to be thinking about it in terms of it already happening anyway. ;)
Sep. 2nd, 2010 11:09 pm (UTC)
I find this all very interesting since we've been TTC for a year now with no result. (It's not something I really talk about online.) I envy your openness in discussing and planning and I hope everything goes well for you.

Sep. 3rd, 2010 02:50 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time of it. I'll hold you in my thoughts & prayers and send good baby thoughts your way! I've been wanting/waiting for several years now, so I'm really into trying to log and share the whole process, for better or worse. The idea of planning one is quite a luxury and adventure, so even though some folks might think it's TMI, I'm quite open and into birth in general, so maybe some other folks will learn - and help support us with prayer & energy on the journey. I've actually seen very few people discussing TTC on their blog, but I've really enjoyed learning & following along when they did.
Sep. 5th, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
I don't think it's TMI; it's fascinating and something I like reading about, but at the same time I can't discuss the TTC issue myself with friends in person or online. It feels too intimate.
Sep. 2nd, 2010 11:15 pm (UTC)
This all sounds very good! I'm looking forward to hearing more!

*starts planning baby knits*

Sep. 3rd, 2010 02:51 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! I'm glad you're interested in sharing this journey with us. I really wish I knew how to knit! I can crochet the basics, but that's about it. I envy crafty people!

Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:28 am (UTC)
Congrats on TTC!
The midwife sounds wonderful. I know that that's a path I'm planning to explore when I have children. :)
I'm really lucky to live in a province in Canada where midwifery care is totally covered by the province and free. Midwives here are legislated by the province and have hospital privileges etc. However, it wasn't always like that (not until recent years) and not all provinces here are the same.
Your midwife's rate sounds very reasonable and it's great that she comes to your house for everything.
Best wishes!
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:34 am (UTC)
Thank you! Man, I eagerly await the day when medical care is covered for folks here. Maybe one day. I was pretty horrified to learn that midwifery only became legal in Missouri about two years ago. No wonder it was so hard finding one! I consider us very lucky to find one who's so awesome and so in alignment with our goals.
Sep. 3rd, 2010 05:27 am (UTC)
I'm really curious about this "boy diet" and rather or not you have success.

It *might* be worth one more try if it was for a boy...
Sep. 3rd, 2010 05:34 am (UTC)
Definitely look it up! I gleaned a lot from google without having to shell out for the paid plans I saw advertised. I'm leery about it, TBH. The increase in percentages of boys seems fairly negligible, but I figure every little bit helps. It's not too hard to add extra salt, breakfast cereal, & potassium to my diet. I'm going to try conceiving the day of ovulation too, since that seems to increase the chance of a male. But that means I need to figure out exactly when I ovulate! I'm looking forward to the learning experience.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )


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