I worry lately that I've become too jaded. I immediately wanted to react, and had to take measures to calm myself lest I feed a flame war. I'm trying to look at situations and think, 'Where is the lesson in this?'
At first I wondered if I reacted so strongly because of the reading I've been doing lately. As part of my Mission 101, I've been working on more enlightening fare. Since it's such an ambitious project, I started with items *24. Read 101 Books, including 3 from / 25. The New York Times Bestseller list* by beginning the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change". I've been reading all about Integrity, Honesty, Human Dignity, Excellence, etc. So maybe I'm just noticing all the rudeness I encountered today, and am more touchy to it.
But I tell you what, it FLEW all over me when I saw the comment, "Steve Irwin had it comming [sic] *nod nod*". Or the one that generalized an entire group of people (yes, of which I belong) as being rude, touchy (unless you stroke us just right), and lacking social graces. And there were even more, but I finally realized this was the time to quit reading. Maybe it also has to do with the fact that I'm sick, and so perhaps touchier (or, even better, in need of a good stroking)?
In gearing up for my month of meditation (item #85), I've been reading and contemplating (not quite meditating - as I mentioned, I'm sick and can't really concentrate OR do my breathing, LOL) Unity's Daily Word. I read an article by Deepak Chopra about healing and the healer's effect on those s/he heals. He quotes the passage, "Be still and know that I Am God" and urges us to still our inner thoughts when they aren't serving us.
So I sat there and tried to still my thoughts, then went back and deleted all of the personal insults from my replies. ROTFLMAO So this is one step closer to enlightenment. I tried to word my responses so that the people knew *why* I was angry. I hope the message did not get lost in the delivery, but I realize that I *seriously* have a lot more work to do with another basic principle: Patience. And here I thought having two kids had improved that immensely.
It's so easy to snark or be rude online, when we don't have to look each other in the eye. I don't want to keep giving in to that urge. As Dr. Chopra said, "In any interaction between a healer and a patient, the healer's state of well-being -- physical, emotional, and spiritual -- influences the biological response of the one who needs healing." And here I find myself in an interesting paradox - I want nothing more than to be a healer, an enlightened being who helps change the world for the better through a loving example. Yet here I am, feeling sick and pathetic, in terrible need of healing. Is this because of the negativity I keep encountering everywhere, or could it be because I'm indulging in it too much?
So I've decided that tomorrow starts my first attempt at *#59. Go a full day without scolding or yelling*. I initially meant this to be in my Family section, mainly dealing with the kids (ok, yeah, and sometimes Josh). Now I realize that it should really go in my Spirit section, and I should endeavor to treat ALL people that way. Will it help? I hope so. Will it work? Eventually. :) I'm very curious to see how many days/tries it takes until I can actually go the *whole* day. It will certainly be an exercise in self awareness. Tomorrow, when I feel my thoughts and feelings getting roiled up, I will remind myself, "Be Still."
I will also remind myself of my Personal Mission Statement. I had an assignment to write one years ago when I first took the 4T Prosperity course at church (which I am doing again - item # 100, scheduled to start this Sunday). If you haven't ever done this, I really recommend it. Like any business, we should each have a personal mission statement by which we live our lives. I haven't kept mine in the forefront of my consciousness lately, and I'm ashamed to say that it shows.
Here is the Personal Mission Statement that I came up with, probably 2 or 3 years ago:
dedicated to remembering and exemplifying Truth,
and to glorifying God through all of my Thoughts, Words, & Deeds.
Today's Daily Word:
Wherever my path may lead, God is my constant companion.
There may be a time in my life's journey when I come to a crossroads, an intersection where two or more paths are before me. With each path leading in a different direction, it's up to me to choose which one I take. I may not know what adventures lie in store for me along any given way, but I can be sure that God will be my constant companion.
I give thanks that whichever path I choose to take will present opportunities to meet wonderful friends and loving companions. There will be lessons to be learned and beautiful discoveries to be made.
As I listen to the still, small voice of God within my heart, I step forth with confidence and trust.
"Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart to revere your name." --Psalm 86:11